CHAPTER 54                LINK TO OTHER PAGES

  1. The Lord said: "I came to cast fire upon the earth; and would that it were already kindled!  I have a baptism to be baptized with; and how I am constrained until it is accomplished!"    How then was there a baptism for Him to be concluded after His baptism in the river Jordan?   

  2. Answer:  The true baptism of any person is his passing through this life in the fear of God, and in his endurance to the end.

  3. Is not baptism, as it is written; "An appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ"?   The real baptism of the Lord was His passing upon the cross.  

  4. And the true baptism of all those many through the centuries which were burned at the stakes, or murdered in whatever fashion the pagans and the roman catholic or protestant heretics were able to procure upon them, was in giving their life for the name of Christ Jesus.

  5.  If now a child eight days old was to be circumcised so that the token of the law might be upon them, how much more not shall the token of "grace" which is proclaimed in baptism be affixed upon him?

  6. The token of baptism does not free anyone, just as circumcision to the flesh never saved anyone, nor was it commanded of God.  But this was His command to be circumcised to the heart.  

  7. A paradox you will say, and yes why then do you not realize the same with baptism, how not the water, the outward token, but the inward redemption of the heart and soul is the real baptism?  As again it is written; "With the washing of water by the word."  As in not the water to cleanse, but the Word to cleanse.

  8. Show me a contrite heart, and the works that are of it, these will show if indeed you are baptized by the Lord.  For this is the true baptism when a man is baptized of the Lord Himself, when the Word has cleansed him.  And so it is water and faith, Spirit and faith, and fire and Spirit.

  9. The question then becomes whether you are bringing a true or false testimony.  For was not the whole nation of Israel baptized in the Red Sea?   Yet only two persons out of all of them entered the promised land, the very two that symbolized the birds of the offering to Abraham.

  10. Wherefore thus as such, since only the children that came out of Egypt were allowed to enter the promised land, the baptism of all the adults was in vain, since all these were un-circumcised.

  11. Was David ever baptized with water?  No such watery token  passed upon him, yet he was baptized with the true baptism, the saving baptism.  For it is not written in the gospel by the words of the Lord himself, "how unless you are baptized in fire and Spirit, there is no redemption for you."   

  12. In "fire" and in "Spirit" in these David was baptized.  And Abraham, how was he baptized?  He believed the word of God, And it was reckoned him for righteousness.   And so I could rephrase this - how - his faith was him to baptism.  

Baptism --  Infant or otherwise.

  1. What, so I ask, was the condition of salvation?  Was it - whosoever immerses himself in water shall be saved?  No!  Or whosoever be baptized shall be saved?  No, but this is written, "Whosoever believe on Me though he die yet shall he live."  And; "Whosoever be baptized in Me, which is to say "IN ME."

  2. And how then shall the children be saved, who for their age not having known the Lord when they die?   It is in the grace of God, in His fore-knowledge, and His election on whomever He will be merciful, or on whomever He will not extend the same salvation.

  3. David said, when the child by Bathshe'ba died: "He shall not return to me, but I shall follow him."  Wherefore it is as Paul reiterated from the prophets that it is in the election of God, for He is God, and we merely His handiwork.

  4. And now that all the criminals, along with the righteous, believers as well as idol worshippers, though they call themselves by whatever denomination that suits their ill-knowledge, baptize their children, and themselves are baptized - it is of no effect.  But the grace of God only in His calling is effective up to the throne of God.

  5. From the book of Acts: "When the jailer awoke and saw that the prison doors were open.

  6. And they said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household." 32: And they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all that were in his house. 33: And he took them the same hour of the night, and washed their wounds, and he was baptized at once, with all his family.  

  7. 34: Then he brought them up into his house, and set food before them; and he rejoiced with all his household that he had believed in God."

  8. "With all his family" so it reads in verses 33.  And what is it to you O man if only that jailer believed, and God choose to save his whole family along with him?  For here again it was not baptism that saved them, nor did they rejoice over it, but as it reads - in - "that he had believed in God."  Note the words "he", rather than "they".

  9. And is it not somewhere said, how the wife is sanctified in her believing husband, or visa versa, and the children in their believing parents?

  10.   Neither Jacob nor Esau were baptized nor circumcised when they were in the womb of Rebecca, yet so spoke the Lord"  "Jacob have I loved but Esau have I hated."   And now you would like to shut out Jacob because his baptism was not upon him?   O you foolish people with your foolish debates, and your rituals.  

  11. Salvation is indeed not any part of your conception unless there are churches and its rituals for you to embark upon. O how poor indeed you are, and how well you are at polishing the wood of the cross.  

  12. But you are self defeating for as you polish that wood you are removing the blood, the very means to your own salvation.

  13. And who is to teach you of a truth? Will it be me? Will you listen to me so you may indeed live in Christ and not forsake your own self in worshipping a mere peace of wood?  

  14. Shall an infant baptized with water indeed be saved?  What were the words of the Lord I so just pronounced to you "Unless you are baptized in fire and Spirit, there is no redemption," was it not something like that?

  15. Yet it may be Gods will to take a young child of parents that are not God fearing, and what is that to you O man wills he take or not take from God-fearing parents, or from parents that do not know God?  

  16. It is the Lord who created him or her, and it is His right to do with His property as He wills. You therefore should be glad for those on whom the Lord bestows mercy.

  17. It is customary in the infant baptism of the churches (as it should be)  that the same is not complete until the child having become of age makes his confession before the congregation that indeed the baptism of God is within him.   

  18. Wherefore in that day that person already having Gods baptism within him, (and by that I mean "Fire and Spirit" rather than the water) simply testifies to the same with that token of the water upon him when he was still an infant in the arms of his God-fearing parents.

  19. You now have heard; "Visiting the inequities of the fathers upon the children," and that goes for mothers as He spoke in the book of Revelations regarding the women Jezebel, quote:

  20. "I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her immorality. Behold, I will throw her on a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation, unless they repent of her doings; and I will strike her children dead. And all the churches shall know that I am he who searches mind and heart, and I will give to each of you as your works deserve."

  21. "Strike her children dead", so it reads, and on the other hand; "blessings are upon the children of the righteous person that walk in the ways of the Lord" as it is also written somewhere in that sense of the word.  In general the children of the godless are at a loss on account of their parents, and equally as much blessings are upon the children of parents that do in fact love the Lord their God and fear Him.

  22. One of my sisters was but two years of age when the Lord took her unto Him, she therefore may be rejoicing together with my mother in paradise.  For she indeed as myself and all her children - we had a Godly mother, but not all of her children are in the same embrace. 

  23. Let us thus thank God for His grace in the wisdom of His will, if from two in the field He will take one and not the other, even as it was on the right and left of Christ on the cross. 

  24. I was baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and would now the ignorant among you wish to baptize me again - all because it was in a Calvinistic church, the so called founder of which I have cursed as a barbarian tyrant?  If indeed I were so stupid I would be holding God and Christ up for contempt, as were I to put Christ Jesus twice on the cross.  

  25. For once baptized in His name is forever, it was not the water which cleansed me, nor was I baptized into it, nor was the water "my appeal to God for a clear conscience, but Christ himself within me cleansing me even from before I was born.

  26. For upon me were pronounced the names of "the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." And if so you will accept it, it was my mother with the clear conscience, beloved of the Lord.

  27. Myself I was not able to have my children baptized as infants, since they had driven me from their church, and there was not any church to promote a welcome to me, or I to them.  Yet when I took a wife, I incurred the services of the same and its bishop to conclude the marriage. 

  28. Not that I deemed the bishop to be a child of God but quite the contrary, Yet God put him there to do the service and as such my vows were before God and His blessings accordingly.

  29. I now say to you, (and I do so in the wisdom given me of God in Christ Jesus): If one does not feel well with infant baptism, then let him act after his conviction, but not judge those that do perform infant baptism, for not all are given wisdom in the same measure.

  30. But let it be as a means to show that the love of God for your neighbor is truly within you.  Or as I might say a trial of your love for your fellowman to act in the faith of Christ Jesus.  

  31. Infant baptism does not guarantee nor deduct from salvation, even as the salvation of Abraham was not deducted from him in the circumcision of Isaac his infant son. But judging a man for a conviction towards salvation that is not in error thereto - that does not become the children of God.

  32. Be realistic my friends for I am speaking to you rather than to my people that are not my people, one thing is an obvious fact how most of the people in the world that were baptized in infancy or otherwise will never see the entrance into heaven.   For the churches baptize just about anyone believer or otherwise, even demons.   

  33. And in  saying "believers", how many in a hundred thousand are there that in fact and in truth are believers?  My answer is; very, very few if any, and more so this day than in days past, for faith without the works thereof is a dead faith.

  34. If you will reply to me that the "Bible" does not teach infant baptism, then --- hear me --- and it shall be for a light within you.  For speaking of "the Bible",  "the Bible",  and "the Bible says", indeed these think to find life in the written word, while it is the Spirit that gives life.  

  35. If it is not taught in the Bible, but of God nonetheless, what are you balking about, you that can only see the letter?  The Spirit teaches truth to salvation, while the written word is for them that perish.    He who has an ear let him hear.

  36.   Paul spoke to Timothy saying:  "Charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to occupy themselves with myths and endless genealogies which promote speculations rather than the divine training that is in faith; whereas the aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and sincere faith. 

  37. Certain persons by swerving from these have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make assertions."

  38. "Vain discussions, and making assertions of that of which they have no understanding."  Are we not all guilty of such things?   And should we not mend our ways lest 'we' run in vain?  But you will say; no, but we are correcting those which are teaching false conceptions, lest the sheep be lost.  

  39. Very well then, only be certain that it is indeed correct that which 'you' are teaching, and not vain discussions.

  40. "If any one is preaching to you a gospel contrary to that which you received, let him be accursed." Thus spoke Paul, and what a devilish thing to make infant baptism punishable, or to make any law concerning it.  

  41. For then it is no longer grace by which we aspire to Christ Jesus, but a man-made rule apart from grace.



  1. What man has ever reproved the great and the mighty in the earth as the Lord has done by me?  Who has upbraided the teachers of the earth, and made the wise into fools? What one man has ever spoken so sternly and with disdain to the inhabitants of the earth to make fools of them?

  2. I have indeed made myself an enemy to the race of man, with the word of the Lord upon my lips they were cast down. But the Lord is my strength, He my protector. Let the nations rage and turn themselves one and all against me, but the Lord will laugh at them, and answer them in His wrath.

  3. For I am His anointed, with His Holy Oil He has anointed me to reprove and upbraid the sons of men and render His judgment upon them. My baptism of Thee O Lord to cleanse me from all sins.

  4. Who will stand against me when the Lord is for me? Who is wise enough to understand the word of the Lord upon my lips?  They are all as a delusion O Lord my God, as a delusion so they have presented themselves, all the unwise in the earth.

  5. O Lord if for a single falsehood perpetrated upon me I am in so much pain, how will I endure the multitude of lies and falsehood of the many that these will bring upon me? 

  6. Yet as for the sons of the earth, the generations of mankind, let this be know to you how I am a king, even a king of kings. And that my wrath is quickly kindled, how my anger can flare up speedily against all that are wicked.  

  7. For I hate injustice, and I despise inequity.  I am the Lord's, and His servant I am, now and forever.  Let not any man be so foolish to rise up against me for he will be cast down, his own wickedness will destroy him.

  8. Thou did take of Thy Son a tender one, even me, a tender soul, one so easily hurt, make therefore my forehead like flint, and my stomach so it may endure the stench that those of the earth radiate from them.

  9. I am Thy child O Lord, made in the power of Thy Word, I am Thy son, a son of Thy Beloved, keep me O Lord as the apple of the eye, that I may be delivered from this hell, from this earth which is but a hell unto me, not anything like unto my home and my dwelling place that I have with Thee.

  10. May I be baptized in Thy love, that I may be as Thou has spoken; "One of righteousness," one without blemish.

  11. To be circumcised on the foreskin is a sign of the covenant that God has with us, and as it is an everlasting covenant so the sign is everlasting. 

  12. The meaning of which is that if - while we are in the flesh we do not show forth the faith to salvation in the very works thereof, there is no sign upon us, and consequently no salvation.

  13. And how was it that God said "One that is "eight" days old"?  That no-one shall enter into the eight day, the day of eternity, into that new world thereof, unless the sign of Christ Jesus be upon him, to have loved and kept His word, that can also be said; to have Christ's circumcision upon him, note how I said;  "Christ's circumcision."

  14. As then it is written:  "Both he that is born in your house and he that is bought with your money, shall be circumcised. So shall my covenant be in your flesh an everlasting covenant."

  15. This is a sentence, the mystery of which I will not place into words, for the Lord was gracious unto me granting my request for wisdom unto Him, and He said: "Keep My secret, you that are kept by it."

  16. As now the Lord said; "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, seeing that Abraham shall become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall bless themselves by him?  

  17. No, for I have chosen him, that he may charge his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice; so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him."

  18. How thus was Abraham to receive what God had promised him?  Was it not by doing righteousness and by keeping justice, and to have faith, to keep and follow after His commandments? 

  19. God had indeed made a covenant with Abraham, but it also reads; "So that He may bring."  He who has an ear let him hear.


My loving mother that the Lord took from me when I was 12 years of age.

I will place her words with mine.


Dear husband and children. 

He is, although the fiercest sorrow touches you,

Your Keeper.  Who guides your feet lest you stumble.

He, the Watcher of Israel, does not slumber,

No evil shall fall upon you,

For He, the Lord watches over you. 


The Lord will ever watch over you,

That in danger He may keep your soul.

And whether you go in or out,

Or wherever you may go,

The Lord will keep you forever. 


March 7 1944 .

Search me O Lord and know my heart.

Is perhaps that which I contemplate not to Thy honor?

Try me, and see if in all my inmost there may be any evil,

Anything not becoming.

And set me forth with firm treads, on the way of salvation. 


Sept 29 194 ?

All Thy waters and Thy waves went over me.

I shall say unto my God:

My Rock, why has Thou forgotten me?

When my thoughts multiplied within me,

Then Thy consolations renewed my soul. 



I cried out my grief, All alone within my dwelling.

I felt so lonely, so forgotten.

There were only walls round about me.

And these stones were hard,

With no feeling for my grief. 

Then I wished to tell the people,

Regarding that on which I had hurt myself.

I was pressed from within - to explain,

That which so grievously caused me pain.

But the people that were around me,

Appeared even harden than the stones. 


Nowhere did I find compassion,

My pain was not anything to be noticed.

Then did I bend the knee,

And cried it out in a prayer.

Then my grief softened,

In the care which Thou me brought O God. 


The voice of the Lord my God still calls me,

Shall I not at last hear His voice calling me?

How long shall the world please me?

So that my days pass in vanity?

While round about me the waters pound upon me. 


God's voice is calling, no longer now will I wait.

God asks for my heart, no coward now, to grief Him

Love, Joy, and Beauty - all are vain aspirations.

Unto God alone my longing longs to go. 


I follow my God, Him alone I wish to please.

And in my heart lights the light of victory.

I give myself to Him,

Who for me through sorrow and through joy

Will always be my Master and my Lord. 


Accept me O Lord in Thy endless compassion.

Thou does hold me in Thy merciful arms.

Speak O Lord, Thy servant hears, and waits on Thee.

Lead me then where Thou wilt in Thy strength. 


Why O you Christian are you so fearful?

Do you not know that God the Father,

The Almighty guards you continually,

So that no evil may touch you? 

Yea indeed, the time is fearful,

And no one knows what is to come.

Round about us is the dark night.

But the Lord God, He watches. 


Here on earth is only war,

Here are troubles, and always care.

But if you bring your grief to God.

He softens it, He the Lord. 


His will is in-comprehensive,

Which you can never come to comprehend.

But that which He performs is good.

What He does is wise and right. 


Tears are let here, for the whip that bruises us.

But the faithfulness of the Father,

Is the ointment for your pain,


Do not ask - Why O Lord,

Why did this have to happen? 

But know that by all that awaits you, 

He grants you strength with your cross. 


Dec 17 1940 . 

Praise the Lord O my soul, 

And all that is within me - His holy name. 

Praise the Lord O my soul, 

And forget none of His blessings. 

He who heals all your wounds. 


As long as I know. 

As long as I know that my way here,

Is prepared by Thee O Lord. 

And that road however difficult it may be,

Will bring me closer to Thee. 

Closer to Thee, Yea closer to Thee.

To bring me O my Savior closer to Thee. 


As long as I know that everything here,

Brings me closer to Thee. 

As long as I know that for me also,

He died upon the cross. 

And that the Savior did for me also secure a crown of life. 

Closer to Thee, Closer to Thee.  Closer to Thee O my Savior. 

As long as I know that everything here, brings me closer to Thee. 


As long as I know that Thy love O Lord, consoles me day by day. 

Then shall I shout forth and rejoice in whatever my lot may be on earth. 

Closer to Thee, Closer to Thee.  Closer to Thee O my Savior. 

As long as I know that everything here will bring me closer to Thee. 


As long as I know that although on this earth,

Awaits me my cross and sorrows. 

That this cross brings me closer,

To the everlasting abode of my Father. 

Closer to Thee, closer to Thee.  Closer to Thee my Savior.

As long as I know that everything here, brings me closer to Thee. 


Jesus, Savior of my soul, walks with me on the path of life. 

Where the waters come high against me,

And I am in danger of perishing, 

He fights for me against the storms of life,

To bring my journey to its end. 

No one is able to help me; Thou alone art my hope. 


I cannot find any earthly help,

My fearful heart hopes on Thee alone. 

Let my supplications not be in vain,

Save me O my Savior, save me now. 

Let Thy eyes follow me with compassion.

And Thy wings cover me, 

Till I come safely in Thy haven,

In Thy haven of eternal rest. 


Teach me O my dear Savior, to rest upon Thy heart. 

Speak to me of Thy love, of the love of Thy soul. 

Cause me to fervently testify, of the flame of Thy love. 

Thou bearer of my sins, Godly Lamb of the offering. 


September 22 1943 .

Tired of living.

Tired of knowing.

Tired of willing.

Tired of me.

I wish to go far away.

I wish to depart from this world.

I wish nothing anymore.

I wish to die.  


Be silent O you bitter cry in the darkness

For an answer is never heard from you. 

While the way becomes more heavy and fearful, 

And we - we must, yes must go forth. 


March 3 1944 . 

Teach me to trust in Thy way, 

And turn evil thoughts away from me.

And should they come -

Teach me to bear them,

Knowing that it is from Thee for me to bear. 


Teach me to do according to Thy will,

Then shall I walk in Thy truth.

Take my heart, and knit it together,

To the fear of Thy name. 


Accept me O Lord in Thy endless compassion.

Hold me O God in Thy gracious arms.

And lead me where Thou wilt in Thy strength. 


By Leonard.

O how blessed my mother when we meet again, 

when you are embraced by the son of your womb.

When you are kissed by a king,

By the one who suckled at your breasts.

When wisdom and understanding meet one another.

O how marvelously joyful we shall be.  


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