CHAPTER 23 LINK TO OTHER PAGES
out loud 1996)
day I awaken and I marvel at the marvelous works of the Lord.
All the day long His mighty works are before me, and I strain to
understand them, to comprehend fundamentals, to gain insight in to them.
But they are too marvelous for me, and I am pained because I can not
comprehend, and I am wearied in reaching for them.
long Lord is this to be that I shall be pained in beholding Thy marvelous works?
For I cannot but behold Thy works, they are around me day by day, and day
by day I am cut to the heart for not being able to comprehend.
How then shall I find peace when Thy works are always more marvelous than
that my vessel is able to bear?
I am sad and vexed because I am driven out from society for they lie and steal, and commit all sorts of sins and hypocrisy. So I was driven from the churches, each and every one of them had become temples of the devil, places of idol worship, atrocities worthy to be burned and cast into hell.
I had not the
opportunity to have my children baptized because with their atrocities in a
so-called house of God they drove me out.
So I was
left alone, and how often did they not attempt to coerce me to join them. But I hate hypocrisy, and I loathe injustice, and idol
worship is a contempt unto me besides it being stupidity and most illogic.
I came to despise the world in which I was born, and it pleased me not to rule
the people, nor to be called a prince of them.
is the Lord and very great, mighty in deed, and marvelous in wisdom. O what am I to do with my heart, day by day I am pained
because day by day I marvel at the Lord and at His greatness.
Each day I strain to understand the mighty works of the Lord, His works so beautiful, and my heart is drawn to them. I behold a face and I marvel at the great wisdom in which He fashioned all things, the smile, the yearning, the eye, and the mouth. And then again a flower opening to the sun, and a blade of grass how it reaches upwards to the light.
I wonder why I am, and what I am, me a mere speck of dust upon a speck of dust,
and to what end I am what possible contribution could I serve. Then again I behold the crocodile how in his need for
survival with his great strength he draws a whole ox from the shore into his
Of what service can a man be to His maker, for unless He grants it me I could not praise Him. He is the breath in my mouth, and the light of my eyes, how can I possibly serve Him, what need has the Maker of man for man?
I could not rebuke a man lest He gives me the rebuke, nor correct any lest He strengthens me. There is nothing I can do lest He enable me to the same.
never in need of me, but I am always in need of Him, and so I question to what
end man was made - seeing how in myself I am of no service unto my Maker, except
to be that for which He formed me to be.
Each day is the same; each day I cannot but behold His mighty works, wherein His great being and His great wisdom is seen. And so I strain myself to understand, and I grow weary in the pursued of knowledge to know the why, and the what for, and the how.
I think in myself, O what a wretched soul I am, one with no rest in my
heart attempting to comprehend the marvelous works of the Lord.
For He is continually before me, and I cannot help but behold His
marvelous deeds to show His marvelous being.
And so I am pained in what seems a futile attempt to comprehend even the small things of His creation. For whatever I understand, and however deep I enter into the understanding thereof, it seems so little. And all the while my desire is for more and deeper understanding, always reaching like one to gather the ocean in his vessel drop by drop.
And should I succeed in having gathered a thousand drops into my vessel,
what shall that be to the whole of the ocean?
And so the vast ocean lies before me unconquered, while I gather droplet
In all this my appreciation of Him has grown greatly, and the more I see of Him, the more my eyes are lifted up to His ever-great being. He is as One who grows larger before me day by day, and I grow smaller day by day.
So I said to myself,
you are nothing Leonard and yet He regards you.
O how marvelous He is, for in this Thou art yet more marvelous then
before O Lord, and O how I am pained in reaching to comprehend.
Then again I came to say, this world is nothing more than the gate of Heaven, like Jacob said, and the Almighty Lord is everywhere always. We live in Him and nothing escapes Him, O how marvelous is He to be thus.
I am prone to forget, I placed my wallet on my lap, but after a few minutes I had already forgotten and lost the same. And after a while in searching I was distressed and angry with myself in having been so thoughtless. Then in coming home, there was my wallet on the door-mat, but there was no note to reveal as to whom might have found and returned the same.
Then fear grew into my heart realizing how the Lord my God is always near
me, and that I am never out of His sight. For
while I was thoughtless He knew me and showed me that He is very near, and that
He cares for even the least of things.
I often wonder how I a single person am to govern such an endless multitude of men and women, for I can barely govern my own house. Nor do I know the thoughts of those next to me, how therefore am I to govern such a multitude? Unless the Lord my God governs them - as He governs me by day and by night, with not a moment that His attention waivers from me, there shall be none that can govern them.
For He only is God, He only
has the might and the wisdom to govern. He
alone in His greatness is everywhere to know the thoughts of each of us, and to
console and direct each of us. And
yet He appointed me a kingship, one who in himself can-not guard himself.
And so O Lord - be the Guardian of men within me that I may be what Thou
has appointed within me.
Rec. 77 (On the subject of science)
It is Sunday May 11 1997, and of all that I have attempted to communicate, that is to say looked for persons with whom I could speak or relate in the field of the sciences I was disappointed. For as I looked on them they were poor in knowledge and understanding.
So much so that I said, how will they ever come to understand my word or the reality of nature? For they are like children, and how am I to teach children that are barely weaned from the breast in the things that are of the aged?
Has the Lord then put me so far beyond the norm of men? Yes, I read and heard "Sevenfold knowledge", and it certainly appears that way when I look upon what are known as the brains of the world. But to me that sevenfold knowledge is not at all so, but as simply knowledge.
Therefore by comparison
how poor is the knowledge of men, how little they understand of what is factual.
With knowledge I have come in a world that is devoid of knowledge, how
then am I to teach or share the foundations of the world with them?
I suppose my teachings will have to remain for a time after my departure from this world when the fools and the arrogant are dead and buried then there be men to have the insight to comprehend my words.
At a time when the world will be able to understand words of a truth, when arrogance and vain pride has gone, then men will have an avenue towards the understanding of reality, and not blind themselves in their accursed pride. For it are these that block them from comprehending the beauty of nature.
feel indeed sad that all this beautiful knowledge which God has given me is so
wasted on men, that they are not able to it, and that I am left alone in it. For as I behold their concepts and their words, O how very
poor they are, how ignorant man is in his knowledge of nature, and yet he dares
boast in his stupidities. This
indeed makes me sad.
is a lesson here, for why would Paul have been subjected to a shipwreck, and the
same have been recorded if not for a reason, for a lesson unto men.
First of all the fourteenth day reveals a point in knowledge for the wise, that will be left to comprehend for the wise only. Then as it reads, “the sailors suspecting they were nearing land” is for the time when the world comes near to reaching its day of reckoning.
And seeing how they threw out anchors, there are those wishing to be
saved. But in their ignorance, not
knowing how to be saved, these set out by a boat under some pretence aiming to
Then Paul said, if these do not remain in the boat none shall be saved, meaning, if you do not take the afflictions of the world upon you, and care for men, and with them, you can not be saved. And Paul showing the way to salvation, to take food, to eat bread and thank the Lord.
To accept and partake from the will of God, and so yes, the whole number was
saved because of Paul. As then the
ship broke up, no one was lost, indeed the world must come to its
reckoning and be destroyed, but because of the sons of God, or the Son of God,
their lives will be spared.
I now have said very little, of what could or should be said to properly expound these words and the lesson therein, but I did so since the understanding is for the wise, lest I should reveal what is not for the unwise.
And so I feel myself lonely and alone in a world that is neither willing
nor able to hear me, a man with great riches but not able to share the same.
For my wealth is not a temporal wealth, nor my riches for a world such as
25 1999 according to Gentiles)
What is in my heart or in the speech of my lips? Would that man had understanding, to hear a word. She that is called my wife said to me, "You will never be rich because you are too generous, with too much compassion for the people".
And so I answered, "What are riches since the whole world is at my disposal?" She then said, "And what will I do for the future without you?"
At which I
answered, "I will throw you a bone now and
of course did not comprehend my words, and so what is my speech in a world not
able to comprehend?
Rec. 80 (June 20-99)
If I could only find the words to express the majesty of the Lord, to announce how great and marvelous He is. But there are no words; no conception of man can describe Him. O how I marvel at the Lord, in the marvelous works that I see of Him, in the fraction of His handiwork that is before my eyes.
How very marvelous of the Lord to have created man together with his mate
and their offspring. And to govern
each and every one of them at all times, and nothing escapes Him.
We are at all times in His hand, and our works before Him.
warned O you man, the Sun will come down upon you, and does not the Sun sets in
the West, even as it rises in the East? He that can hear let him hear.
He that can hear let him hear.
Rec 81 (Dec 1999)
how foolish I am, how small, and O how my soul longs for righteousness and for
peace. That I might never again
hear an ill word or behold the suffering of the people, nor the foolishness of
men in their boasting.
Lord my God made a multitude of people, a multitude of great men upon whom He
caused His light to shine. O that
His light might dawn on me, that I may not feel myself so distant of those who
served Him rightly.
have indeed spoken many words, a foolish thing to speak so much.
I beheld the words of the Lord and came to interpret them.
Then I trembled as I came to feel the weight of His word upon me, for how
is my vessel to bear such honor, or my soul to digest such a marvelous drink
I indeed imparted many words unto me seeing there was no other choice. I was not able to define them in alternates. And so I became imprisoned by them, surrounded with the knowledge of God. There was no escape from His word, nor from the understanding thereof. Nor did I attempt to escape, for my love was for my God, and for His peace upon me.
Only I could not
fathom the extend of His grace upon me, that He was mindful of me, me a
condemned man, born in sin, me a small and foolish creature.
Who am I O Lord that Thou has granted such honor and glory unto me, as I
cannot begin to comprehend.
word to the wise, howsoever strong the love, righteousness excels, Love in all
its strength shall not exceed right judgment.
Rec. 82 (Dec 25 1999)
day, as this is called, and may each day be Christ's day.
But how did man come to set the 25th of December as the day on
which Christ Jesus was born into the world?
From the record of the Gospels Luke is the only one to give a certain date, stating that in the sixth month the Angel Gabriel came to Mary revealing unto her that she was to bear the Son of God, a child not by the entry of any man. The sixth month then is the month of September.
If therefore the Virgin Mary conceived in that month at that time when
the angel appeared unto her, and counting nine months according to the design of
God for a child to be formed and be delivered, the birth of Jesus would be at a
time as was my birth, in the month of June, the third month of the year. And it should very well have been June 6.
why do I say on that particular day? Because that day is the day of the Oath of the fulfilling of
the Oath, and of the first fruits, the feast of weeks, the day that is fifty
days after the day when at Passover the sheaf was waved. and He gave
me to be born on that very same day.
and He gave me to be born on that very same day.
it seems appropriate for the Lord to be born on the day when we in fact do
celebrate the Oath, namely the promise of His coming to deliver us from our fall
into sin. For again it is also
correct that The Father gave His Son to die upon the cross on precisely the
right day, on the fifteenth day of the first month
Rec. 83 (Feb 2000)
had to reprove those who were born of the womb of which I also came forth, and
while none of them saw it fit to come with an apology, or to reconcile
themselves. One however did,
for it is good that brothers should live in peace with one another.
Why O Lord has Thou given me the heart of a Lion and I cannot defend myself as one. Lowly critters attack me from all sides to wound me, and I am not to defend myself as Thou has given a Lion to defend itself.
I am to allow myself to be robbed and beaten by lowly bandits that lay in ambush along the roads and hide themselves within my fields to rob me of my produce. And at my complaint to the authorities they laugh at me and join with the criminals to add to the robbery.
If it were not for Thy Name O Lord and for Thy word to me, I would avenge myself on them, and exterminate their shadow from the face of the earth. And should they in the process kill me, O what a blessing that would be, to be rid of them at once.
O how I love to depart from this earth, how eagerly I long for what men call death, for I grievously despise this generation and I loathe all their doings, there is no justice nor honesty within them, they are altogether food for the fire.
Why am I called a Lion yet I humble myself as a lamb to the slaughter? O how my heart is torn within me to lay myself down at Thy command O Lord, because it is for Thy sake alone that I control myself and temper the heart within me.
How long O Lord must this go on before Thou wilt rise to vindicate my cause, before Thou wilt exterminate men from the face of the earth?
Thou wilt surely rise for the cause of Thy elect, and exterminate the wicked from the face of the earth. Then the earth will return and breathe in peace, and those with integrity will not be tormented as I was tormented by the wickedness of the wicked
Let the wicked rage, and let him take his fill of robbery that is never enough to him, for even so much he will not be forgiven, with his pains into forever, because he persecuted the righteous, while they knew the righteous was innocent yet did they slay them.
Therefore this will not be forgiven him, the Lord of all mercies will not cover their deeds, but they shall be exposed unto the sun, to the morning sun, and to the midday sun, and where the sun sets shall their reward be.
He is a beaten old man so the spirits contemplate, let us freely attack him, for he will not rise, he has lived in silence and in silence he will perish. The God of Israel has not raised his horn, he is but a dry tree, his roots at earth’s end shall not flourish.
But now hear this you wicked spirits, it is not in vain that I have held hope all these many seasons, for the Lord my God is a faithful Lord, for though I may not be one in Jacob yet He will surely plead my cause, and by His marvelous wisdom raise my horn in Jacob.
Rec/ 85 (IN STRIDE. Jan 10-99)
The sound of music is pleasant to the ear, and the sound of a woman’s voice a delight to my ear, but none are as pleasant as the sound of truth and of justice. And what am I to take in stride? Moses took another wife, and why did he do so?
good reason and I understood the reason. But
who else understood his reason? Not
his brother Aaron, nor his sister Miriam, nor his first wife whom did not take
it in stride, nor acknowledged the same towards her husband.
I will not be understood. And of what purpose shall it be to cite a defense, such as where the Lord said to Peter, “Of whom do the rulers of the earth take tribute, from the sons or from others?' And peter answering, “From others", the Lord said; “So the sons are free.”
Accordingly, my reply to the world of men would be; “Whom are you to cite your rules or your tribute upon me, since I am not of your generation, nor of your world, but rather you and your world and all of your generations belong unto me.
Apply your rules to your own kind, to those others seeing how I am one of
the son’s, not bound to such of your rules.
For they are your rules and not my rules, nor are they of the Lord my
Father and my God.
who will understand my reasoning or the wisdom in my speech?
“Take no offence", so also the Lord said again, and He paid the
tribute out of the mouth of the fish that swarm the seas.
Have I then not dearly paid you your tribute you world of men, and
offered myself for your sakes?
then will set my foot in what is before me to stride the earth in the peace that
I have of my Lord. Whosoever then
will take offense let him be offended to his own hurt, for I speak with the Lord
my God, “Blessed shall be those who do not take offense at me.”
Rec. 86 (1999)
is written; "Solomon had a vineyard at Ba'alha'mon,
he let out the vineyard to keepers, each one was to bring for its fruit a
thousand pieces of silver."
again He said: "You O Solomon may have the
thousand, and the keepers of the vine two hundred".
again it is written; " O you who dwell in the
gardens, My companions are listening for your voice, let Me hear it".
me, let your attire be graceful always, adorable in my
sight. And when you faint for love - be
alluring, dress yourself with loving attire, so shall I be
yours. Be my love and my love shall not be failing.
And for the vineyard O Lord my God, She is Thine with all the praise and glory of her. For Thee O my Lord in everlasting gratitude for Thy grand offering unto us.
Then for wisdom; Why is it written "for Silver" and not rather for gold? It is in wisdom, a wisdom I will keep to myself, because it is in wisdom.
For the wise)
For the wise)
is written "So they
shall fear the name of the Lord from the West.
glory from the rising of the Sun".
As therefore is the rising of the Sun, and as it sets, so the people shall fear the name of the Lord. Again it is written; "Like the lighting flashes from East to West so will be the coming of the Son of man."
So indeed He will enter into judgment with all mankind, only there are no ears to hear, nor eyes to see, nor any heart to meditate upon the truth.
Once more in stride.)
I wrote how I would set my foot before me to stride the earth in the peace that I have of my Lord." And I said, "But who will understand my reasoning or the wisdom of my speech?"
And am I now going to embark upon it, and will I do it wisely? I did not search it out, nor took unto it. I said unto myself; this year I will behold what the Lord will do for me, and where He will lead me. I will take unto me all such labor as He may place before me, and take upon it with vigor.
When speaking of "In stride" I however was not speaking of labor, of earthly gain, but of a thing not in the understanding of men. And so I contemplated the overpowering desire, and what will it be for wisdom in me? Yea indeed what drives me to walk a tight-rope?
Democracy is for a time in passing, and Anarchy for destruction. Royalty is enduring, and Monarchy for everlasting. Freedom is a word that belongs but to the righteous. One is for the many, and the many for the one.
Mortal thoughts conceive to be free, coining the phrase unto themselves, yet shall their lot be it in subjection. For what is a herd unto its master, or a spoon in the hand of him that deals with it?
I will not condone the maimed or the handicapped to enter before me, nor to reside near me, nor anyone that is not well dressed. Nor will I be served in food or drink but by a woman.
was kind to them that were not desired, generous with them that were not wanted.
Yet they kicked their heels against me. So I did not find integrity in them,
nor was their abiding with me.
now my enemies look at me, and find fault with me, but I will stride the earth
in the peace that I have of my God. And their faults shall not be forgotten, nor their
accusations of me of such that are more wicked, yes grossly wicked.
now I speak with Solomon how she has ravished my heart with a glance of her
eyes, with a single jewel of her necklace.
So I am a man longing for his bride, for my mother, my wife, and my
sister for bride.
said unto her, be unto me, and I will love you and keep you into forever.
But if there be jealousy in you - you shall bear your own grief.
She then pronounced her love to me, but I found no trust in her.
Like as Enoch said that the people shall be given into the hand of the righteous to become their property, at which time the righteous, the sons of God shall pronounce and execute judgment on them.
So it reads: "When they are given over to those who shall condemn them, then they shall learn that the word of the Lord is true."
He who has an ear let him hear, and truly it will not be until then - when they shall factually realize how the word of the Lord is true.
O Lord my God Thou art very great. Only to think of the Lord by the works of His hand is very marvelous, greatly impressing. Among the many it reads. “Thou did set the Earth upon its foundations so that it should never be shaken.
These words and those that follow reveal how and in what way the Lord established the earth for all time to come, the sons of God and the multitude which He has given into their hand. “Thou did cover it with the deep as with a garment, the waters stood above the mountains." And the words that follow.
"For though the waters stood above the mountains, the mountains were proud, and at the rebuke of the Lord they fled, even as the hills, and likewise the valleys sank, so that man was no more to govern the earth or abuse his neighbor. They all went to the place which the Lord from before the Earth had appointed for them.
This to the end that they would never again cover the earth, for their rule was atrocious, and their mercy cruel, and they were without understanding.
And thus the Lord made springs to gush forth from the valleys, not from the mountains, but from the valleys – so I repeat for those able to comprehend - to flow between the hills. And it were these to give drink to all the beasts of the field.
Under the branches of the Cedars the multitudes found a habitation, to sing to the Lord for the mercy bestowed on them by Him through His sons.
For it is the Lord who teaches His sons, who waters the mountains, and by His marvelous work and His compassion the earth, the multitudes of the sons of men are filled.
Rec. 93 (Ezekiel 32.)
In the twelfth year on the twelfth month on the first day of the month. The day of the return of our Lord and Savior, a day of gloom and of darkness, of retribution against the wicked, and of joy and gladness for the sons of the Lord.
The week of creation, the time of man, six of the one and six of the other, in twelve periods. And for the twelfth month as in the last part of that period, but on the first day thereof, for again the day of His return is also a week of years in which retribution shall take place after which the sword shall be put to rest.
Rec. 94 (March 2009 VEXATION)
I am appalled at the gross ignorance of man
and how I am so alone in this world, such beautiful knowledge as the Lord has
given me, with no one to hear or understand. O how right you were my brother
Solomon - that as knowledge increases so does sorrow. My soul is depressed that
there are no teachers among man able to hear a word, how they love but their own
selves, and not the word of truth.
So then my soul cries to the Lord the love of my soul - even as Thou O Lord was not of this world but came into it, even so I am not of this world. I am far from my home yet Thou art with me wherever I am.
what great glory Thou has bestowed on us that know Thee on each of us that are
not of the world. My soul was with Thee from before the earth was made, and Thou
gave me a body and my love from before Thee, that I might love Thee as Thou has
loved me, for we O my Lord, love of my soul, are Thy handiwork born of Thee in the
very image of Thyself.
will my soul ever glorify Thee O Lord, how will I ever thank Thee for Thy great
love? Glorify me before Thee O Lord that Thou may be glorified in me and in all
the sons of Thy bosom.
thank Thee O Lord for the wisdom Thou has granted me, and the knowledge Thou did
impart within me, that I might know Thee who created me, to know truth and
righteousness. For these O Lord my
God I love above my own soul, the love of truth and of righteousness.
How beautiful are Thy words, how lovely the speech of Thy mouth, Thy servant loves Thee O Lord, I love Thee with all my heart and my soul, O how I love Thee, how very much indeed.
He that hates inequity is he that loves the good. When injustice becomes unbearable then love has come to fullness. In him in whom the love of God has multiplied even so his hatred for all that is evil will multiply to at last become unbearable.
My love has become like the roundness of the moon, and my disgust for the wickedness of man is unbearable. My anger flares, and my wrath becomes hot at the mere sight of injustice, but vengeance is of the Lord.
If you O man do not truly hate wickedness, do not speak to me of any love as were it yours. When love increases so does hatred, if then you have one and not the other - who are you?
To serve God and also mammon is the delight of man, and by it he glorifies himself as being the righteous. And who is to tell the fool that he does not know God, that there is no knowledge of good or evil within him? His love is that of the unwise, and of the wicked slated for destruction.
Rec. 95 (April 2009 The Lord by Isaiah. 59)
"Truth is lacking, and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey." Shall I repeat it? Are there those to understand these words?
"The Lord now saw it, and it displeased him that there was no justice. He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no one to intervene; then his own arm brought him victory, and his righteousness upheld him. He put on righteousness as a breastplate, and a helmet of salvation upon his head; he put on garments of vengeance for clothing, and wrapped himself in fury as a mantle."
"According to their deeds, so will He repay, wrath to his adversaries, requital to his enemies; to the coastlands he will render requital."
"So they shall fear the name of the Lord from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun; for he will come like a rushing stream, which the wind of the Lord drives. And he will come to Zion as Redeemer, to those in Jacob who turn from transgression, says the Lord."
This prophesy is about to take place, a great motion. It has already begun but they do not know it for wisdom has fled from them and understanding has hid itself.
I am sore troubled for they must perish, there is no healing within them. Though I speak they will not listen, though I poor out my heart to them they are like a rock, nothing enters into them.
Their hearts are hardened, they have set themselves against the Lord and His anointed. Now they must be done in, the waters are impure, full of toxin, it has stagnated with its foul smell rising everywhere.
Rec. 96 (My pains 2009)
How dreadful is this world, and how it pains me to have my abiding among the sons of men. I would have liked to relate the knowledge granted me in the sciences by a normal peaceful fashion, like as a teacher before its pupils.
But the sons of men with their ceaseless lies and mockeries towards my person made this impossible for me, wherefore I was bound to reward them with a medicine of their own kind, a medicine more correct to their foul mouth and itchy ears.
And how did the sons of man with their atrocities affect my person? They did it to my Father, they took great pride and eagerness to blaspheme my beloved Father, the Creator of all.
With that they made me angry, in going all out to show my beloved God and Father for a liar, those beast as they in fact are, to anger me and anger me greatly.
Therefore I was unable to teach as I wished, and was forced to speak as I have, to make fools of them, to show them for what in fact they are. Vengeance was on my mind, to exterminate them from among man, but I am a son of my Father and of my Lord who spoke kindly to me, saying;
"Wait only a little while my dear son, and bear the reproach, for I will take vengeance, as vengeance is Mine, and that even for your sake. In a little while they will be no more and you will rejoice, and do unto them as it will please you."
Therefore for the promise within me I restrained myself to bear it, but it is a painful cross, and that even so much more for the greater love and the greater knowledge implanted within me.
Rec. 97 (70 YEARS OF AGE)
I have exceeded those numbers of years, and still I am in exile in a world that is a hell unto me. And so I determined to have no more birthdays, no more celebrations for the years added unto me.
Do not congratulate me, but rather weep with me, for each added year in the day thereof is to me as when a beloved one has died, a day of sadness and of grief.
My sister laughed at me, in her ignorance she laughed. Who understands me? There is none, no family no friends, no not a one. O that someone would understand me.
It is not merely disgusting but unbearable, even to turn on the TV, for I am sick of having to see or hear regarding all those perverts, the ruling authority, their judges and counselors, not just criminals, but perverts as well. The company executives who were awarded with stolen prize money from the governments, their extortion and robbery of the people.
Yet the rulers awarded the perfect criminals for their criminal deeds, because these governing authorities themselves are criminals the like, a most loathsome lot, fit to be eradicated from the earth..
When they see a sex offender, a pervert, or a murderer they cater to them as were they the cream of the crop. And what does that make you O you judges and you counselors along with all the governing bodies? It makes you most abominable, and to me your stench is unbearable.
O God my Lord, rid their shadow from the face of the earth, let not their names be perpetuated, or ever heard again, for they butchered their people. Of justice they had none, nor knowledge, nor even a feeling for it. To me these are unbearable hypocrites, I loathe them with all my soul, and hate them with a perfect hatred.
Let evil doers be eradicated from the face of the earth, I pray Thee O my Lord, there is nothing worth saving in them, these are not fit to have their abiding among men.
O Lord my God that Thou would take me home, to bring me out from this exile, away from all these that never again I may hear or see them. Thou can do this O Lord, to take me from them, even now, for these will not hear Thy word, why then testify to them?
Why bother to warn them of the wrath to come, when they are devoid of ears, and devoid of a heart to them. They are the walking dead to me, a vulgar sight to look upon them, a most apostate breed that has come forth into Thy world.
Why O Lord does Thou suffer them, even to breathe the air, and have children, the poor souls that are born of these must themselves die, and testify to the vileness of their parents. How can one live knowing he came forth from the walking dead, from the perverts of society, a disgrace upon them?
I am sick to my stomach, I live distant from the tumult of the people, so as to have a degree of peace with me, and now even to turn on a TV, or a radio their stench comes into my hideout.
O my Lord, how long yet before I may come home away from all this? Why even do I have to reprove them, I have no stomach for this, nor are my nostrils to stand the stench of their forthcoming.
I have not gone forth and already I am sick to the core regarding them, Nor do I wish to recite their affairs, the wickedness of their doings.
And what will it be for me to enter into Jerusalem, to behold those that reside within the city of David? I fear to go there O my Lord, I truly fear to go there for what my eyes may see and my ears may hear.
My soul is sore vexed within me, for the vileness of the people yes but even more for the corruption of them that govern the people, how there is no knowledge or truth within them.
And shall Israel be any better, Thy people dear to my heart? How few of them will hear Thy word, and O that I may have my abiding with them, away from the stench of this world.
If I could only find these that are of Thy Spirit with me, O how I would rejoice with them, I would not depart from them, lest I must again hear the filth of this world.
O My God, how this world is an exile to me, a horrible prison, a foul smelling prison that is never cleansed, but accumulates stench upon stench. I am truly sick of all that is around me, and I long to leave it even today if that may be Thy will O Lord my God and my salvation.
Rec. 99 (DEC 2009 A PRAYER IN THANKSGIVING)
O Lord that Thy servant may be humble all the days of his life, though Thou has made me a prince, a god unto my people, yet humble my heart and my soul to the fear of Thy name. Let not Thy servant exalt himself, let not vain glory enter by me, for my soul delights in humility and my heart adores kindness and compassion.
What am I to do for my soul O Lord, so many days in silence, so many days as a dry stump on waters edge, with no life to be seen upon me? Thou did grant me wisdom and knowledge, yet no one would hear Thy word, no one had an answer or a reply to Thy marvelous innovation with Thy servant.
I am alone in this world of exile, so alone among all the race of man. With all the treasures bestowed upon me I am like a poor man devoid of the least of kindness from man, for no one understands me, no one is able to hear my voice.
That which Thou has revealed to me concerning my appointment is awesome and inconceivable O Lord. How am I, a mere man of flesh, to conceive such a great calling as Thou has shown me. If I were no more than a messenger to Jerusalem, I would be blessed above many to have received such a great calling from Thee.
But additionally Thou called me to be a prince of Gentiles, of all the nations thereof past present and future. O how great a calling Thou has bestowed on me as I cannot possibly conceive. What a marvelous future Thou has laid out for me such as my mind can not comprehend.
And with this Thou does raise the name of Thy servant yet greater, to speak to these nations with a mighty voice, with Thy voice upon my lips, to raise my horn among them as a true prince and as a ruler of them.
And even more so Thou has given me that I might bend the knee of all these many Gentiles. Thou has enclosed all of them within me, the whole innumerable multitude of them.
And as if that were not enough and already far beyond my conception O Lord, Thou did exceedingly grant me knowledge and wisdom, so that Thy servant might know how he is to conduct himself with all these many of Thy hand.
And still more Thou did grant me the knowledge of foundations, and of the sciences that I might know Thy works, and Thy creation. Thou O Lord did make Thy servant foremost in these things among the race of man.
But most of all to my joy, and my great longing Thou has granted me my most earnest desire that in due time Thy servant may have his embracing in Thy people Israel, for Thy servant to embrace his deep love.
O how very much I love Thee, how my soul thank Thee O Lord each and every day, that I love Thee with all my heart and soul, and how very much I love Thee.
How am I possibly to conceive Thine anointing upon me O Lord, Thy very great mercy and compassion upon my soul, and for those many Thou has enclosed within me? How very great and how very marvelous Thou art that Thou should elect me a prince, that by Thy great compassion and wisdom Thy servant may be known a son of Thy Beloved.
It is more than my vessel is able to hold, greater than I can possibly imagine or comprehend. And O how my soul longs for the day when I may embrace Thy great love for me, when at long last Thy servant may be made whole.
However much I contemplate upon these things O Lord, they are too great and too lofty for my comprehension. Yet in a day to come Thou O Lord will put my soul at rest, and my heart at peace in all that Thou has bestowed on me.
For as yet I see myself as but a worm, a tiny piece of flesh and bone, and how is it to inherit such a mighty calling? Therefore O Lord I rely myself upon Thee alone, for Thou alone art able to create as Thou wilt.
And yet for all this grandeur upon Thy servant I am the least among Thy sons, a mere Gentile granted to eat from the crumbs of Thy table, how much more glorious therefore shall Thy sons be that are of Thy heritage?
Thy glory and Thy compassion for the sons of Thy creation is truly beyond understanding O Lord, more than the mind of any man is able to apprehend, for Thou art truly Lord and God of all, and more so Thou art God One and Only.
If anyone from among the Gentiles has cause to be thankful it is me O Lord, more than I can possibly express. Thou has indeed made a marvelous apparition before man, to have given me, one who had no education among man, more knowledge and insight than many.
For Thou has said, to make foolish them that are wise in the world, and to raise the dead tree to full life while cutting down them that were tall and green.
Rec. 100 (NISSAN 16 2010)
Today is a sabbath, the seventh day of the week. Yesterday so many years ago the Lord our God was crucified, and tomorrow so many days ago the Father rose Him from the dead. How ironic that the Gentiles are this day holding a sabbath as were it the eight day, while they are celebrating it on the seventh day, as the Israelites do.
Am I alone in a world beset with ignorance, is there no one with me to know of a truth? How long must I bear with these people O Lord, how long must my soul be vexed on account of them?
Rec. 101 (Sivan 6 2010)
"Three times a year all your males shall appear before Me." Am I the one and only of all those in the world to appear before the Lord on the day which He specified for it? It is because I love him and honor His statutes that I came before Thee O Lord, but O if only I were not alone.
My wife had trivial things to attend to, and would not go with me, yet when I was leaving she wanted to go saying, "I will cancel my appointment."
But like the maiden whose oil was dried up, the groom came and passed them up, it was too late my dear one, you ought to have taken diligence to learn to know your husband, you surely should have done so.
Rec. 102 (SIVAN 11-2010)
How very marvelous Thou art O Lord, I cannot conceive the grandeur that Thou has bestowed on me. Thou did create seven marvels, seven stars, seven days, and seven periods, these all were in seven. In seven O my Lord whom I love with all my heart and with all my soul, and with all my strength, because Thou took pity on me and raised me up within Thy Son.
How little I esteem myself, yet Thou caused me to ride on high, higher than the mountains of the earth, a river with abundant waters to flow into the sea that it may be refreshed to become clear waters. The seventh of the seven, so am I acquainted, a river larger than all earth’s rivers, and Thou did supply him with an abundance of waters.
And yet again; how sad to have received wisdom and knowledge when there are none to hear, when for all its beauty I found myself among the blind of sight. Who will hear and who will understand when hearts are made of stone, and inwards filled with poison to die upon a thousand deaths?
Thy love comforts me, and my affection returns unto Thee, O how very much I love Thee, for Thou has dealt so marvelously with Thy servant, giving him that I might know Thee abundantly. And yet again; how very much I despise myself, and this race of man, how very much I loathe to be among them, and how dearly I long to depart from this world.
As I look back upon myself, I muse saying; why O you Leonard are you putting yourself out to be as convincing as possible so that you may rid the people of ignorance? For that which is crooked cannot be made straight, and that which is held straight will not be loosened. Why then do I weep and is my soul vexed for the demise of the people when it is not within them?
I indeed have spoken far too much, I have labored more than I should have, and I should rid myself of my grief for a people not my own. Yet who is to tell my soul not to love them, nor to have compassion upon them? So I looked to the Lord and showed Him my complaint, the hurt within me.
I recall how I said; whether I preach or not, not one of the souls of the Lord shall be lost. What folly therefore have I committed to speak so much when it is but folly, and vanity at best. Let me cease from speaking, to close my lips, perhaps for a moment peace might enter into me, for as wisdom increases so does the pain.
Looking back I came to muse within myself how just as Thou nurtures a child for a period in its mothers womb, and Thou wilt not bring it forth until its days are complete, so Thou does form me for Thy service, for the day that Thou wilt bring me forth.
Rec. 103 (MY PRAYER)
Would to the Lord that Thou take me away from here, away from family, friends, and enemies, away from the race of man. I don't like arguments, I don't like reprove, I don't like rough speech, my heart longs for peace, the inconsideration of man is too much for me to bear.
unbelief and hardness of heart is inconceivable to me. This world is a hell to
me, a very painful place, O how dearly I wish to depart from it, and for how
long already that desire has been with me.
My plea to Thee O Lord, take me away O Lord, If I am not fit for Thy service, bring me back to when I was never born, but do not leave me with the sons of men, to leave me in this hell. Thou can do this Lord, for with Thee nothing is impossible, grant my anointing to another, and let me vanish as one who never was.
This my plea O Lord, for the sons of man do not want to hear me, and my
days are days of vanity, and I can not bear to behold the wickedness of the
people, nor that I should have to behold their destruction.
For what good am I? I despise myself, I do not consider myself fit for anything, how then will I stand in Thy service O Lord, how will I pronounce Thy holy words, from a mouth that is not pure.
O when will
I be wise, when will my mouth speak only what is pleasing before Thee?
O that I might be in Thy image, so show forth Thy luster, to be as Thou
art my Lord, kind and gentle with overflowing compassion.
Make me Thine O Lord, then shall I be in Thy image.
My soul waits for the Lord for the day in
which He will act. What have I in this world that I should desire it, my days in
my exile are many yea too many, I desire nothing but that I may depart from here
and be home, to be at peace with the Lord my God.
Rec. 104 (Oct 2010)
How long O Lord wilt Thou suffer these many criminal on the face of the earth? How long must Thy servant be vexed unto death for their crimes and their arrogance as were these unreal to humanity doing something noble? The politicians for their advertisement alone should be hung, all of it being criminal and oppression, full of lies and deceit.
How long O Lord must I remain among these most loathsome of all
creatures, for unless Thou take me out of the earth we cannot get away from
them, not to hear or behold their vile doings.
These ignorant brutes playing that silly
voting game, as if there was some reality in it.
Therefore I thank Thee Lord that it are just these looking to be voted that on them the greater torment may come, for they are worthy of it.
O Lord teach my lips to utter what is precious, and that I may dwell in Thy temple, and be Thy servant now and always. O that a voice of truth might be heard in the earth, that for once a noble person might be heard to speak.
they have all turned aside doing their own pleasure, speaking out of the
imagination of their heart, they do not have Thy fear within them O Lord.
What is there left for them but that these should be eradicated from the
earth, so that at last the earth may once more breathe in peace.
Sent Thy Spirit O Lord that the proud may be abased, and the arrogant be cast down, Bring down Thy judgment upon all these that abhor Thy righteous ordinances.
Thy voice be heard in all the earth, let death be the procurement of all that
deny Thee, then Thy servants will see and glorify Thy name.
Then also my soul will rejoice in Thee that at long last there may be a
respite from all the wickedness done in the earth.
the head of the dragon)
O Lord that Thou would destroy that
dragon, to turn it into rubble with everyone within it, to wipe their carcass
from the face of the earth, as a token of Thy judgment to all these blind
wanderers that worship that devils captain. And for seven days let all that
attempt to rescue anyone from that rubble - let them die as well.
For they will say that it came of itself, therefore let it be a sign of Thee O Lord, so men may know that Thou O Lord art God on earth. Thou can do this O Lord for nothing is too hard for Thee.
And I know that it is the seat of the
devil, and how he would take up his sword against me, yet I wish to see it done
O Lord, to humble these boasters and to put them to shame for their gross
idolatry and their vicious crimes against all humanity.
This body of mine is of no value to me O
Lord, but that it may serve to Thy honor and glory. The Satan may be angry with
me, but I am in Thy hand, so what can he do to me?
My body they may have, and my blood may be poured out for them, but my
soul is Thine now and forever.
(AS IN THE DAYS OF NOAH)
These denominations of the Gentiles will
not believe that they worship no more than a graven image, therefore also they
will not believe me, nor the word of the Lord that proceeds from me.
And even those of the Israelites when they hear, will rejoice in that
their enemies are curtailed, but not turn from worshipping their own flesh, for
they refuse to believe upon the word of the Lord.
What right do you have to question me you
rulers of the earth? Will you question my authority whom that I am?
Each of you are but rulers of a single nation, and for only a moment of
time, while the Almighty Lord made me a prince of all the nations of Gentiles,
of those that live today, that have been and will be, for everlasting.
What therefore are you to me O you one
time rulers of the earth, that you wish to exercise your authority over me?
To me you are but an abomination, unfit to rule.
Rec. 107 (Dec 2010)
How well the Lord spoke saying of man that
they were a delusion. I placed priceless jewels before the eyes of man, but they
had no comprehension as to what they were looking at, nor were they able to
reply concerning it.
How much therefore indeed O you children
of man are you a delusion, a people without knowledge or understanding.
Do not therefore complain when the vengeance goes forth since you asked
for it, and begged for it to come upon you.
Priceless indeed so I said for to offer a
trillion dollars for it would be a joke, nor would a trillion, trillions come
anywhere near, since as I said, these were priceless as in without price.
These are a gift, and as a gift could these possibly have come to you.
O Lord how I despise those so called
priests, popes cardinals, ministers or evangelists as they call themselves, they
have become to me a most loathsome breed acting as if had any knowledge of God
or His Christ, the liars, a true vipers-brood that belongs to the devil and his
Nor are the rulers of the earth or its
judges and lawyers much better that one in all are indeed a contempt to me,
a sore vexation to even behold or hear their speech the foulness of their
I pray Thee my Lord let them know the
error of their ways, and for their pride and arrogance to fall headlong upon
their own conceit. Take vengeance O
Lord for our sake, for all Thy dear sons and daughters, and for Thy name sake,
of which they made such a grave mockery. This my prayer to Thee O Lord, this
indeed my prayer.
PRAYER. October 2010)
looking at me for all that I have said and written, who would not conclude that
I am off my rocker, a pitiful man with delusions to believe upon something he
conceives as truth. For whom does he think he is to call himself an anointed one,
a prince, and to teach us if we were in need of his teachings.
For about fifty years I have been writing and approached the sons of man, but none would listen, nor as much as give me a reply, and now that he is old does he think anything will change, or that any of his words will come to pass.
We have no idea what he is talking about, or his foundations of the
sciences as if there is any truth in them, yet he is adamant about all that he
has spoken, and his so called discoveries as we see it.
He therefore is to be pitied, to so have lost his mind, to believe upon
what no other man would believe upon.
And yes I know that for all my words I am unlike any other. but this I have that for all these many years I have believed upon the word of the Lord, and in the understanding of it. Nor did I slack from it, but with sure conviction my hope did not fail me.
For though I searched the Scriptures if perhaps in anything I might understood the word of the Lord in error, I was not able to find such error, but rather more and more confirmation.
And for these many times as I asked of Him, for the understanding of a thing, He forthwith gave me the answer, and I knew it was of Him, since in no other way such could be found or understood.
How then am I to deny Him who taught me so
much, and revealed to me such many things as are to come, and how it will be in
days to come, that cannot possibly
be known lest by revelation of Him who is the Teacher of all that are accounted
knowledge which the Lord has given me is awesome in comparison to this
generation of man. And for all that will be I doubt if men will read even a
tenth of my words, to know but little of what was granted me.
Rec. 109 (December 2010)
As I gained knowledge and wisdom, I came to consider Solomon how he loved so many wives, so many of the delights of man. And I realize how and why, for as wisdom increases so does one's love and appreciation for his mate to become equally stronger and acute, to adore her as himself, she being himself.
my fondness for the mate of man has grown stronger and stronger with more and
more adoration, to love and cherish them to the full thereof.
I now am not the Messiah, but He is with me, as I am with Him, for the Messiah is in me as I am in Him, He is my Father, even as the Father is my Father, and I am His son. I am not from everlasting, but He that is with me is from everlasting.
In the very beginning He who is from ever created me in the image of His thoughts that I should be among the first-fruits of all that were to come forth in the earth.
was His delight even before the earth came to revolve around the sun, and by His
mercy at the end of days He formed a house for me to dwell within, and
accordingly I served my time in exile.
Rec. 110 (March 2011)
A most apostate generation, so it was said. For any truth to enter into this generation their backs must be broken with a rod of iron. In no other way will they listen or pay attention at anything said of the Almighty Lord. For so long I have placed priceless gems, scientific gems before the people, and while these read - they had not even as much as a reply or a comment, except to crucify me for the truth of my lips.
for all the Godly truth, which I placed before them, and calling upon them,
there was none to reply to me.
How O mighty Father did Thou place me here, a most painful place, not anything after my nature. Deliver me O Mighty Father from this most painful place, this hell in which I have my abiding.
Take me home where I belong, leave me not in my torture among these most
uncircumcised creatures, that are without eyes, knowing not their right hand
from their left.
I love Thee my Lord, Thou art my God, my Father, the very life of my soul. I am vexed for the wickedness of the sons of men, but this is my consolation, that in a little while these will be no more, nor ever again will I have to hear their crackle, nor behold their faces.
For Thou O Lord my
Father, love of my heart, Thou wilt vindicate Thy servant, and bring their
wickedness down upon their own heads. Then my soul will rejoice when Thou
establishes justice in the earth, and perfect peace for those that love
O how I hate this life, and this hell in
which I abide, to deal each day with vexation. But this is my comfort that
Thou art my God, and Thou wilt redeem me from this hell. For Thee I wait all the day long, my eyes look longingly towards Thee
for the hour that Thou wilt take me home, for my home is with Thee, as my
origin was with Thee.
At times I have wished that Thou would
bring me back to before I was ever born, to have no existence, this was me
speaking in the afflictions of my soul, for I know that there is no such
thing as none existence before Thee, and all that has come forth from Thee
will return unto Thee. So I know
O my Lord, by Thy hand I will return unto Thee.
My love is for Thee O Lord, for Thee
alone, I do not care for friends nor family, in an instant I would leave all
of them, just to be with Thee. O how dreadful that hell will be for the
wicked of which I have only tasted. How
dreadful to be distant from Thee, how painful indeed to be shut out from
Rec. 112 (A prayer (07/2011)
Go forth O Lord, Hasten to my plea, let Thy voice be heard in all the earth, to the very ends of the earth. Strip the wealthy of their wealth and the strong of their strength, Let their men be as women, and their wise men as fools.
for once in a long time Thy voice be heard in the earth, for I am sick of
hearing lies and deceit, of the violence of men and their unrivaled
stupidity. Let a voice of
truth be heard, Thy voice O Lord, for once in my life let my ear hear a
voice of reckoning, Thy voice of truth.
my prayer to Thee O Lord, come speedily and bring Thy reward with Thee for
all the wicked that these may be no more, and Thy saving grace for all that
call upon Thee, that call upon Thee in truth.
Rescue me Thy servant from this deep pit, from the darkness in which I dwell, and from the silence that is all around me, the silence of Thy word which has been forgotten, from the mockery of men for they are but a delusion
Rec. 113 (October 2011)
O how very much I love Thy creation Lord, how Thou has made the voice of man, speaking and singing, and the voice of woman so distinct and so beautiful. O how very much I am in love with Thy creation with everything as Thou has made, so marvelously made.
I cannot help but to love and adore every single little thing that Thou has made. O if I could only express myself to relate the very feelings and emotions within me, to praise Thee for all Thy beautiful works, and how much I love what Thou has made, in just the way that Thou has made them.
How lovely the voice of man and female, how delicious and
overpowering, all the instruments which Thou has given men. To have our
physical nature in such marvelous ways, constructed of very minute parts
with movement upon them that by it flawless sound and video may be
How lovely the voice of man and female, how delicious and overpowering, all the instruments which Thou has given men. To have our physical nature in such marvelous ways, constructed of very minute parts with movement upon them that by it flawless sound and video may be transmitted.
O Lord I cannot begin to express how inconceivably marvelous Thy creation is, so utterly marvelous put together. and with such endless quantity.
How O Lord am I ever to have peace in my heart, for in looking at Thy marvelous works I am undone, and in considering the marvel of them O how am I to have peace within me not to always know and feel more and more of Thy wondrous works. O that I always may enjoy Thy works to the fullest.
Grant me O Lord the desire of my heart for which I barely dare to ask Thee, but by Thee all things are possible, that Thy servant may experience the grandeur of the love which Thou has instilled within me. To feel and express all the emotion of the love Thou has given me, that the same may return unto me.
Rec. 114 (A LAMENTATION 2011)
O how my heart yearns for a voice of understanding, for there is none to understand me, none to feel what I feel, none to share my thoughts, nor my aspirations, I am lone cedar in a desert land.
The hour is near upon me, and how painful it will be, for my heart is extremely tender, so easily hurt. When the Lord said that He was going to take a tender one of His Son the Christ, He took indeed a tender heart, my soul a tender soul.
O how am I to endure the falsehood of man upon my tender soul, a soul so easily hurt by all that is not of righteousness, that which is not of the Lord my God, the love of my soul, and the pleasure of my heart.
Be very near to me O Lord, to comfort me and to sustain me against the onslaught of the sons of men who with no understanding of righteous dealings are wounding my heart.
The wicked plot themselves against me, but Thou O Lord laughs at them, Thou wilt cause their swords to enter into their own heart.
Rec. 115 (MK 2012)
is a memorial for me, it is the first day of the year called after the angel
Malkiel in the year AD 2012. It
is the 5th day of the week called a Thursday. Yet the Gentiles have it as a
Sunday, and April 1, since these Gentiles rarely ever know what day it is to
breathe the air of it.
me a new year has started, and would that it were already ended, it will be
a year of turmoil and of endurance, and my love for the Lord my God to grow
stronger still, and my appreciation and awe of Him to increase all the more,
for He grows ever greater before me.
thank Thee my Father and my Lord for all the grace Thou has given me, my
daily thanks to Thee, for I love Thee now and forever.
have as yet to give birth, and when I do the whole world will remark upon
it. They will not be pleased
with Thy child, but the righteous will rejoice.
After a long while there will be one who is male, a lion to roar, the king of beast. The creatures of the forest will tremble at the sound of His voice, for it will be a mighty voice, as has not been heard in many days.
The Lord, the Mighty and Almighty one will cause His voice to be heard, for so He has spoken, and so He will bring to pass.
Rec. 116 (Nissan 14, 2012 /Passover)
It is evening the 14th day of Nissan, (16th by the Gentiles) And at the hour that I am writing this the Lord with His Apostles already completed their Passover meal. And He is now just about to be arrested, and scorned by the wicked. And tomorrow about mid-day He will be placed on a cross made of a tree.
My word to Thee O Lord is that I love Thee, and my full thanks goes out to Thee. Keep me in Thy love and in Thy care, that nothing with leaven may proceed from my lips, nor even enter into my thoughts.
And yes O Lord I choose these words that it may be for knowledge and education to the sons of men yet to come. Not what enters the mouth, but what proceeds from it, so is the bread and the wine.
Let Thine Holy Spirit govern me always as Thy blood and Thy flesh within me. So shall I always be Thy servant rejoicing in Thee.
I pray Thee Lord; bring to pass in me the purpose that Thou has designed for me. Let me cry out like a woman in travail that Thy light may be born forth from me. Amen.
Rec. 117 (Aug 2012)
O what a hell this world is to me, and how dearly I wish to depart from it. O how blessed death would be to me so that I might come home, away from wife and children and all that are close to me. O if I could only depart, for those that love the Lord and keep His commandments are more to me than anything.
I am reproved for simply speaking a word of truth, to lead one towards love and compassion.
How O Lord my
God, do I get joy back into my heart? How
do I remove that sword that pierced my heart, how indeed do I remove it,
that my heart may be healed once more?
My hope is in
Thee, and my reward is with Thee, My eyes look to Thee and to Thee only for
comfort and for healing. O
that my forehead would be like flint, harder than rock.
The concrete floor in my dwelling is hard but not as hard as those
that walk upon it.
How long O Lord
must I remain in this hell, how long must I endure the onslaught of them
that are without compassion? Deliver
me O Lord I pray Thee, deliver me from all that are around me.
How beautiful O
how beautiful if I could only leave this world, to get away from all the
sons of men, not to hear their voices, nor to see their faces, nor even be
O how much my
soul longs to be with my Lord, more than anything.
If it were an enemy to taunt me, I could bear it, but it are those
near to me.
It now is completely inconceivable that we
may be called Sons of the living God, an honor that is imperceptible, and
how imperceptible God’s mercy is and His wisdom that He caused us to enter
before Him into His rest, into His Sabbath.
I cannot fathom this glory and this honor
which He bestowed on us, that before all the countless many creatures and
spirits which He caused to dwell in His grand and endless universe, He gave
it to such as we are; namely man that we might serve before Him and be known
in His name, a glory that exceeds that of many other spirits within the
How very marvelous that I may actually
lift up my eyes and pray to Him, and He will hear me, that in itself is
I do not know how to speak to Thee O Lord,
I do not have the wisdom to lift my voice to a Ruler as great as Thou art.
Thou who made the whole of the universe by the power of Thy word
alone, who art enthroned above all that is high, while I am but a worm made
in the dust of the earth.
How then is my voice to come before Thee lest by Thine own Spirit dwelling with me, to intercede for me. And yet Thou did make it so that I am allowed to speak to Thee, and that Thou would hear me, and even grant me my requests as Thou has done so many times to me.
How infinitely marvelous this is O my
Lord, that we may call upon Thee, and Thou wilt hear us, how very marvelous
The Satan has sorely been tempting me, yet
he suffered defeat and was shamed. And
still he did not cease to make a trial of it, working against me in every
way, hoping to ruin my trust, or that I should act contrary to the Lord my
But again he was shamed. And if he has the
authorization to try me again, he will again be shamed and suffer defeat,
for the Lord is with me, and who is to take anything from the hand of my
Father, the Father of my Lord?
And so O Lord I gathered that the time
draws near seeing how the Satan attempts to sift me as one sifts wheat.
But when I look around there are none O
Lord that seek Thee, they busy themselves with lies and with deceit.
Speak to them with lies and they are all ears. "But do not speak
to us in the word of the Lord, for we will have nothing to do with
Him." So are their
speeches, while with their forked tongue they quote the Scriptures.
O what a worthless lot the sons of men
have become. It is this day as
it was in the days of Noah, there are none that seek Thee in truth O Lord,
why does Thou put up with them O Lord? How
is it of Thee to yet bless these many that with malice deny Thee?
When I speak to them in Thy words, they
not only refuse to reply, but even refuse to acknowledge receipt of them. Truly
O Lord they are a delusion, a full and complete delusion, not fit for
anything but to be eradicated from the earth.
Rec. 118 (June 2013)
am destitute of friends and of family. Those
that are near me are as my enemies. . Let me have enemies rather
than friends, my home is with Thee O Lord, I know no other.
. Let me have enemies rather
than friends, my home is with Thee O Lord, I know no other.
how my soul longs to depart from this world, from this hell, from all that
is around me, for I dwell in an accursed place . I long to go home, to be at
peace with the good hearted people of the Lord, to have my abiding with them .
. I long to go home, to be at
peace with the good hearted people of the Lord, to have my abiding with them .
long yet O Lord, how many more days must I remain in this accursed place
with all them that are accursed?
Rec. 119 (July 2013)
The Almighty One in His Holy Spirit spoke saying; "An unjust man is an abomination to the righteous, but he whose way is straight is an abomination to the wicked."
This makes most of this generation of men upon the earth to me an abomination, while at the same time I will be an abomination to them as well as hated by them, because again it is written:
"By mere words a servant is not disciplined, for though he understands, he will not give heed."
For only with a rod upon their backs will they be corrected, and that rod is about to be brought upon them.
Rec. 120 (Aug 2013)
How utterly corrupt this word is, hells fire will receive the whole of this generation of men with but few exceptions.
the news in
This race of men is utterly corrupt, utterly ignorant. And yet these brutes think to have done a good things because it is as God has said: "That all their deeds will be criminal and oppression."
These however see their criminal acts as were they acts of mercy. And calling God a liar they think of themselves as being the righteous and wise ones.
O how utterly ignorant and blind all this race of mankind is, how utterly ignorant indeed, and why then have I my abiding among them, to live in this hell? For this life is none but a hell unto me, to have my abiding among the dead, among all of them that will be consumed by the fires of hell.
But who will hear me, or who will even understand my word? For God has blinded them, the entire lot of them, utterly blind with no sight within them. These at all times glorify the criminals among them.
I say again; How utterly ignorant this generation of mankind is, and how ignorant all the race of man have been for all these centuries. There are the Scriptures the word of God, and the truth is plainly written in it, yet the world, nor the many that congregated or taught in the churches have understood what is written in it.
When I beheld their churches, in it are found the most vile, along with thieves and murderers, criminals of every kind coming to ease their conscience. Yet these all will burn in the fires of hell as will their churches.
Hells fire is an awful place it is ready for an inestimable multitude, for when this day I look around me at the world and all its people in it, I am not able to discover even a single one that might enter the kingdom of heaven.
As then there may be a few, even just one in a million, I consider that a great tally of those which the Lord has left in this world to be saved from the fires of hell.